Star Wars was once a thriving franchise that inspired a world of fans, who are now divided over one thing, Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi. While the majority agree, even if they had to watch it twice to realize it, Episode VIII, while visually stunning, was a cinematic disaster and a poor remake of Episode V.
The Force Awakens, directed by JJ Abrams, had so many ‘mystery boxes’ put in place, there was really no good lead-in, but instead of building off of it, ‘Ruin‘ Johnson (as fans have started to call him) decided to go to his lousy arthouse roots and create an SJW-themed film that wrecked the franchise. With the drama behind the filming of Episode IX, it is no wonder that the LucasFilms, now owned by Disney, is struggling to gather interest. I had previously told a tongue-in-cheek way to fix it, but today, I’m going to explain the Top 10 Things Episode IX Needs To Do To Save Star Wars:
Rey Needs To Get Hurt– This may sound strange, but Rey has been a Mary Sue since Episode VII. She has never really worked for the skills she has since she was introduced and the only interesting thing about her is her parents were nobodies. Other than that, she is presented as this person with just raw strength that is never honed. We need to see her have that hero’s moment where she is truly vulnerable.
Luke Should Still Be Alive– Nothing was more disappointing than the progression of Luke’s arc in The Last Jedi. Going from an epic Jedi Master to a loser who is hiding after he almost murdered his nephew in cold blood. Instead of him fading into the Force, Luke should have just teleported somewhere and return to redeem himself.
Captain Phasma Need To Die Again- The elite stormtrooper captain needs to die a third time because then it is a joke, not a wasted character or actress.
The Knights of Ren- This group that was teased in The Force Awakens and barely mentioned in The Last Jedi. Are they a threat? How terrifying are they? It is time to flush it out.
Hyperspace Tracking Needs To Go– This was a dumb idea. They need to create a MacGuffin to get rid of this MacGuffin. It forever taints the ‘great escape’ moments that make Star Wars great. 5
Finn And Rose Need To Die– While Finn was interesting in Episode VII, his character, along with Rose, became utterly pointless in their arcs. They need to die sacrificially so that they at least have some enduring plot point.
The Jedi Have To Return (for real)– The Jedi were supposed to come back in the film titled, you know, Return Of The Jedi. That is until we find out it was all bunk in the sequel trilogy. We need some of Luke’s good students to come out of hiding and help Rey set-up a new generation of Jedi Knights.
Who was Snoke?– Even though he is dead, Snoke really needs to be fleshed out more. He was teased as a dark, powerful figure only to be killed without any explanation. He needs to be given something in a memorandum at least.
Bring Back Hux- General Hux was introduced in The Force Awakens as an interesting character and sinister military leader of the First Order. In The Last Jedi, he became a sniveling, somewhat moronic man who is duped by a prank call. He needs to return to his original form.
‘The’ Should Not Be In A Title– It is usually a tradition that the word ‘The‘ is only in one of the titles of the trilogy. This is true in the original and prequel trilogies, but the sequels ignored this tradition, much to its detriment.
That is my list, though I do not think it is enough to save the entire sequel trilogy. It is doomed to failure.
What do you think? Let me know in the comments below. Tell me if there is a comic book, movie, or novel you would like me to review. While you are at it, check out my movie reviews of Solo: A Star Wars Story and My Hero Academia: Two Heroes. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more posts like this one.